I feel like I am in a season of learning to balance my life. There are so many things I want to do and so many things I need to do. I am really trying to learn the best way to get everything done. What is me just being too lazy to do something and what do I really not have time to get done. The answer most of the time is I'm lazy. Working 8am-5pm every day can definitely be a drain. There are some days when I get home and I feel like crawling into bed and sleeping through the night. Is this a reason to let the ironing pile up? But here is the thing I am the MASTER at excuses and I don't even try to be. I have a legitimate reason for everything I didn't do that I needed to do. There are 5 loads of laundry piled high...My excuse: well, we don't have a washer/dryer in our apartment...Truth: The laundry room is 5 steps from my front door. The pots in the sink...My excuse: they will be easier to clean after they have soaked...truth: if I would have cleaned them right after dinner they would have gotten crusty. When is "I'm tired" not going to cut it? That is my excuse every day...I get home from work and I know I need to do my workout...go running(since I'm doing a half marathon in a few months)...Make dinner...but I give myself the same excuse every night...I'm tired. When is enough enough? All of my friends who have kids laugh at me when I say I'm tired. They give me that look of "oh just you wait till you have a baby keeping you up all night". Do you want to hear my excuse on that one...I DO HAVE a baby crying all night and it's not mine! It's my neighbor behind me...and this is no infant this kid is like 2 years old. He will scream for hours (I think the longest was 2 hours straight). I'm also on call one week out of the month so I get to respond to calls at three in the morning to go let in a student who got locked out of their apartment...see what I mean I have an excuse for everything and now I'm getting off subject.
This is my frustration I know many other women who have more on their plate then I do. And they seem to have it all together. They work full time and still manage to have a perfectly clean house....dinner on the table every night and are always doing creative projects for others. Now I know that we all struggle with different things. And I'm sure if I named any of the people I'm talking about they would be able to come up with a list of things they want to do better. I'm really not trying to compare myself saying I want to do exactly what they do I am just trying to get motivated to be better. I have always been a very self motivated person. I wanted something and I would work hard to get it. I feel like I got to the point where I did too much/ overcommitted myself so now I'm at the other extreme and it's suddenly hard for me to get myself up and going. This is why I feel like balance is what I need. Finding that medium place of being able to let go of the little things that I did not get done and making sure I keep up with things so I don't get overwhelmed. I get so frustrated with myself when things are not in order but then it's hard to find the time to get it done.
I was reading Proverbs 31 and let me tell you that did not help at first! haha But the more I really thought about it the more peace I had. This woman was not suddenly this all together everything under control woman from birth. I'm sure she had to work at things and figure out her schedule ha ha. She wasn't just the ultimate woman over night. There is hope for me! ha ha
These are my random thoughts this week...I know that I am not alone in this so if you are like me...be encouraged...there is hope for us...where to go from here...time to give it to the Lord....
This is my prayer today. Lord help me to be the best I can be today. Thank you Lord for the challenges that make me unsatisfied with where I am and motivate me to be better in all areas of my life. God give me the peace to know when to let little things go and not overwhelm myself with busyness. Thank you for the challenge in my heart to not be so full of excuses. Thank you for the grace that you so freely give me to keep me going.
5 comments:
I can totally relate to this one! Thank you for being honest and humble. It is good to be encouraged by others in their walk and thanks for bringing the Word to bear on daily life!
Yeah, this kind of sounds like my life...right down to the pots "soaking" in the sink and my husband wearing wrinkled shirts cause I haven't ironed. Confession: I've never used my iron. I've had it for 7 months. Anyhow, thanks for your honesty and sharing. It is encouraging to hear that we are all still growing together!
Okay I have a couple thoughts...first...you're so funny! I love the "gotta let the pots soak" excuse, a great one used by yours-truly quite regularly! ;)
About moms w/ kids looking at you like you're crazy or with that "just you wait" look. Okay, I worked full-time before I had Violet and felt MUCH more under the time/balance/how do I do it all type pressure than I have since I had the baby. Maybe the difference is that I just have one baby. But I seriously think you have it harder than I do. At least with a baby I can still work out, go to the grocery, start dinner, clean while she's sleeping etc. Yeah, I never get it all done but it's a heck of alot more than I was getting done when I was gone 40+ hours/week. Also I think there's something to feeling fulfilled in what you are doing. For example, I always wanted to be a mom and stay home when my babies were young so there was always a longing for that that made working a struggle. It's not like life is perfect now that I have a baby, you know, it shouldn't be an idol, but if that's what God has called you to do one day I think it's okay to long to fulfill that desire. I think you're right that it's more about being content and finding joy right where God has you. The more you can do that in the job you have currently, the more you will be able to do that as a mom. Hope that makes sense :).
Remember God's goals for us aren't always the same as our goals for ourselves. I don't think God counts laundry piles as much as he counts a cheerful heart, humble and working as unto the Lord (actually God doesn't count anything cause we're forgiven! Yay!) But even Tyson, I'm sure he will remember your spirit (being at peace, asking humbly for help when needed) than the laundry piles!
It's hard...but we're all in it with you! Thanks for sharing this post!
Wow thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is so encouraging to share something and see that others can relate. I'm not the only one.
Erin-You really see my heart where I'm coming from. God is working on me and I know this season isn't go to last much longer. :-) Thanks
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